Wagner, Dulcey

There’s a heaviness in the pit of my stomach and my legs just felt like lead weights as I slid onto a chair.

The doctor just stepped out of my room for a moment to let what he said sink in. My biopsy had just come back. I think he just mentioned the word cancer. What’d he say messyloma? No, he said mesothelioma.

How in the world do you pronounce that? Who in the world has heard of that word? Did he make it up?

Did he just mention I have one year to live? Is he kidding? I have way to much to do! There are so many things I haven’t said or done. I feel fine! Sheesh, there was only a little pain in my chest – no biggy! Does this doctor just jump to conclusions? Boy, now my heads just spinning with: WHY? Why me? What about my hair? The doctor suggested chemotherapy. That’s just going to make me feel tired and useless. No – way!

Why is it still sunny outside and kids laughing down in the park? Nobody has a clue as to what’s going on in here. It’s not only going to change my life, but my family’s lives. How do I tell them this? Doc said I should go have some fun, before I go. Since that’s about in a year. GO – that doesn’t seem right! It isn’tmy time to go yet! I am not going to let myself think that. I refuse to start thinking oh poor me, it’s my time, I am old. I don’t think so! This doctor is going to see me back in here in five years just as fine as I am today! I am not going to give up! I’ve watched way too many football movies to give up now. I’ve heard way too many messages preached from the bible to not give up! If I just give up, I know the outcome. If I press in and believe that this happened for a reason, then I can overcome it and live. This may be big hopes, but that’swhat faith is made of. How many other people like me just gave up? What if I am the one to change that?

What if I could change the course of mesothelioma cancer history? I know all things are possible – why can’t this be possible? If I don’t think big, I am not going to get anything big – and boy, this is big.

So when the doctor came back in, I shook his hand and left. I took the copies he gave me on mesothelioma with me and scanned them over in the car. There was some info in there about a man named James Rhio O’Connor and about how he overcame his. There’s HOPE! Thank-goodness! I scanned the other copies on mesothelioma (www.survivingmesothelioma.com). It talked about how it formed and some different versions of it ( the one that the doctor had pointed out to me was the pleural mesothelioma). Some of the symptoms they listed I didn’t have like the shortness of breath, but there was some chest pain. I drove home rather slowly, praying all the way. It wasn’t my usual prayer when I am driving (usually thanking Him I can drive, and for the car), rather it was quietness. It was an unexplainable sense of peace and determination within me. I knew I was going to be alright, but I sure didn’t know how or when.

I got home and told my family what had happened. There was a good long 10 minutes of solid quiet.

All of us prayed right away. All of us started quoting some of our favorite scriptures right away (for example:

Romans 8:28 and Luke 1:37). We talked about a family we knew that had also faced a life changing situation and how they didn’t give up or resort to certain drugs or medications with major side effects.

All of us remembered particular things they did. One of the things was how many hours the parents studied at the library for their son. Their son had autism and at that time nobody had heard of it ( it was 1 in 10,000 kids). All the doctors had told them to put him on this or that medication, but they refused and knew there was a more excellent way. That’s kind of what the doctor suggested for me; go do this treatment or that medication.

All the side effects didn’t look that fun. We remembered the mom just asking questions to anyone that might know anything. We can ask questions. She just got gobs of books that had any relation to the word autism at the library or bookstores. We could do that for mesothelioma. We remember them putting him on a special diet and how much better he is doing. He’s not on any medications either! I bet a certain kind of healthy, well-balanced diet could be of benefit to me! That boy is doing way better than any of the doctors expected. We can show the doctors, too. With what we know about this cancer, we can just keep moving forward. Wehave nothing to lose. I am so looking forward to that day in five years when I walk back into that doctors office and show him there is hope and how I overcame. That family also had a dog that was diagnosed with a type of cancer that they were told he only had only one year to live. That dog’s been alive over two years now! They talked to a homeopathy lady who worked with them and gave them a website for a certain supplement.

Between the supplement and homeopathy, that dog’s quality of life is still as good as ever. Supplements compared to medicines and drugs sound way better. Supplements shouldn’t have side effects, since it is natural. We’ll make some calls to a health food store and get in touch with a naturopathic doctor. My family is amazing. How could I do all this without them? I am so thankful for all the suggestions that they are coming up with and their compassion. There is so much hope.

We are going to make a plan of action. First, we are going to really read those copies from the doctor. Then, we will go to the library and search out every book with the words mesothelioma and cancer.

We will cross-reference with other books, too. We will get on the internet and look up all the options on this.

We will check into natural ways of doing things and make some calls with that. We’ll call homeopathy people and anyone that they might know. They ought to know about eating right and helping with my diet, too.

We should check into cancer support groups and find out what others have done. There are cancer groups with 800 numbers, we’ll call each one. We need to start asking questions anywhere and everywhere because you never know what someone might know. We’ll call our aunt because she loves to research everything.

We’ll tell her everything and she’ll research anything from magazines, journals, newspapers, and any other articles. Surely there are other survivors out there. Just like James Rhio O’Connor, we just have to find them.

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